kakatuwa naman 121 - 130

121. An empty stomach needs food, an empty brain needs knowledge, an empty house needs a family, and an empty heart needs love. But then, an empty life needs a friend, thanks for filling in.

122. Friends are like mornings, you can't have them the whole day, but you can be sure they will be there when you wakeup tomorrow, next week, next year, forever.

123. Promise me we are true friends. You are the roof, I am the ground. You are the floor, I am the tiles. You are the sun, I am the rays. I am the tree, you are the monkey. Gusto mo ng saging?

124. When you make choices, follow God, not your own way. For if your own way fails, you regret but with God, you can smile and say, "He knows best."

125. Add Jesus to your life; subtract all your fears; multiply your good works; divide your blessings; equals wonderful life.

126. Everything that God allows to come our way was with a purpose. He uses even the greatest error and deepest hurt to mold us into a person of worth and value.

127. True bonding is not measured by the time spent together or the favors done for each other but by the comfort you find when you realized that you care for each other.

128. Love can never be wrong, sometimes, you blame the situation or even the person. But no matter who you blame, if it really wasn't the will of God, it just wouldn't be.

129. True strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting you to fall apart.

130. As I watched the ants crawl upon the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop and communicate. I hope, we could be like the ants, nakakalakad sa walls. =)

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kakatuwa naman 96 - 120

96: Guro: Benito, ako'y may 5 mansanas sa kanang kamay at 10 sa kaliwa, samakatuwid, meron akong... Benito: malalaking kamay ma'am!

97. A black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy. The baby asked, "Does this mean I'm an angel?" Fairy laughs, "Of course not! Negrang to, ambisyosa. Paniki ka!"

98. At times when you're lonely and have no one to talk to, put your hands together and sing... "Chong koyla, mekurikong sila, tayo wala, hehehe, tayo wala..." Ayos ba?

99. Text won't flow, everyone knows, when the load fades away. Text will die, and tears in your eyes, you've got to throw your phone up high! Yeah.. yeah. Throw your phone up high!

100. Life is full of rewards. If you eat properly, exercise and take good care of yourself for 60 years... what is your reward? A senior citizen card! 20% discount. =)


101. If only I had the power to turn back time... if only i could read your mind... Wala lang! Astig di ba? Tapos, marunong pa raw akong lumipad! Yeah! =)

102. Ama: Hoy Brando! Huwag kang babakla bakla ha! Anak: Hindi po itay. Punta nga ako sa basketbolan ngayon. Ama: Yan, astig! Anak: Mama, nakita mo pompoms ko?

103. Bawat luha ay mahalaga kaya siguraduhin mong bawat pagluha ay sa karapat-dapat na tao dahil ang luha kapag tumulo ay hindi na maibabalik sa mata, hindi tulad ng uhog na pwedeng masinghot pa. =)

104. Quotes to live by: 1. Birds of the same feather are the same birds; 2. Do not do unto others what you can't do; 3. an apple a day is not an apple at night; 4. When the cat is away, the mouse is alone; 5. if others can do it, don't help; 6. tell me who you're friends are and i'll tell you mine; 7. early to bed and early to rise makes you sleepy in the afternoon; 8. ang ilog na tahimik ay malalim, ang ilog na maingay, may naglalaba. =)

105. Wife: I'm warning you, darating na ang mister ko within one hour. Visitor: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawang masama ah. Wife: Yun nga eh, kung may plano ka, dalian mo na! Bagal mo naman!

106. Poem of love: Kapag binasa mo ito, crush mo ako. Kapag inerase mo, liligawan mo na ako. Kapag save mo, mahal mo ako. Kapag nagreply ka, on na tayo. Kapag nagmiskol ka, pakasal na tayo. Try mong tumawag, honeymoon na tayo.

107. Let's pause for a while and offer a prayer for the soul of our cotexter who just passed away dahil ang tangek, nahulog sa bubong sa kakahanap ng signal! Tange, di ba?

108. Trivia: Did you know that scientist found out that cute texters hold their cellphone with their left hand? Oh! Huwag mo nang ilipat, alam kong nasa kanan yan! Mandaya pa raw ba!

109. Ano english ng "Baka maswerte ako"? Beef lucky me! Ano ang "Maswerte ako inay"? Lucky me mami! Ano ang "Maswerte akong lalake"? Lucky me with egg! Boink!

110. A little bird was flying in winter. The bird froze and fell into the ground. A cow came by and dropped some dung on the bird. Bird realized how warm it was and began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing, dig him out and ate him! Lessons to be learned from the story: 1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy; 2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend; and 3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! =)

111. I'm praying that our friendship will never come to an end. I'm wishing that it will last until you can see an apple in an orange tree on the 30th day of february. =) Nangiti ka noh?

112. Madre: Father, tell your seminarians not to urinate along the fence. Pari: Sister naman! Maliliit na bagay, pinapansin mo. Madre: No! Malalaki, father. Malalakiii!!!

113. Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis. Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo. 3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako nabuntis? Intsik: Baka hinubad mo!

114. GF: Hayop ka, niloloko mo ako! BF: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah! GF: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae, magkahawak pa kamay nyo! Niloloko mo ako! BF: Makinig ka muna... hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka... Yung kasama ko kanina ang niloloko ko!

115. Dear Ate Charo: Problema ko po ang asawa ko, maniac! Luto ako, sex kami. Plantsa ako, sex kami! Laba, nood tv, sex kami! Paalam na po, kasi, aah, ooh, ayan naa namaaan! =)

116. Kapag nahuli ka ng mahal mong may kasamang iba, tapos nagalit, sabihin mo... "Kita mo itong rebisco sandwich? Katulad nyo, iba't ibang flavor, pero lahat, love ko!"

117. Umaga na naman, gising mga pasaway! Magtanggal ng muta at panis na laway. Humarap sa salamin at sabihin, "Cute ko talaga." Tiyak, ganda inyong umaga kahit kagigising mo pa lang ay nagsinungaling ka na! =)

118. Normal is boring! Paranormal is shocking! Criminal is horrifying! Homosexual is bading! And now, the abnormal is reading!! Bawi ka sa iba. =)

119. Minsan, nakakasawa ding itext ka ng hello? Kumusta? Gud am. Gud pm. Kumain na ba u? Ano gawa u? Kaya para maging unique, ibahin naman natin... "tumae ka na ba? Hugas ka ha!"

120. 70 million people are having sex right now! 40 million are planning to have sex. 30 million are dreaming of it and one expert is busy reading this message! =)

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kakatuwa naman 81 - 95

81. Maybe, I don't really know you that well. I don't know how you exactly act, but those things will not keep me away from you. Coz those are my reasons why I'm here... to know you much better.

82. One night, Mark walks alone in Balete, then he heard, "Mark! Mark!". Lumingon sya, walang tao. "Mark! Mark!", tumakbo sya. Pagdating sa kanto, he saw a sign, "Beware: NGONGONG ASO."

83. Nahuli ni lalaki ang asawa na kas*x ang kapitbahay! Binaril yung kapitbahay, patay! Wife: Grabe ka naman! Kapag di mo binago ugali mo, mauubos ang mga kapitbahay natin!

84. Husband: Sobra ka na, napakaselosa mo! Kung pwede ko lang iwan ang t*ti ko, para hindi ka nag-iisip ng kung ano ano! Wife: Oy oy oy! Ano ako tanga? Iwan mo rin ang dila mo!

85. Year 2010: Mayaman ka na, may magarang kotse, malaking house. Ako? Ganito pa rin, cute, ma-appeal, crush ng bayan. Huwag ka nang umangal, mayaman ka na nga eh!

86. Seksing girl, naglalakad sa Ayala, nakalabas isang s*so. Napansin ng isang lalake. "Miss, yung dede mo, nakalabas." Sexy:"Ay P*tang Ina, Yung baby ko, naiwan sa taxi!"

87. An elephant asked the camel, "Is that your boobs on your back?" The camel laughed and replied, "What a silly question from someone with a big penis on his face."

88. Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears. When you are happy, no one sees your smile. When you are worried, no one sees your pain. Pero try mong umutot, lahat, titingin sa iyo. Pandidilatan ka pa!

89. Hello, I am a virus, and I am entering your brain now....... sorry, I am leaving, i can't find any brain. Hahaha!

90. Maid cleaning room, found a condom: "Ay, Ano man ini?!" Ma'am: "Wala bang sex sa probinsya nyo, Inday?" Maid: "Meron po naman ma'am, pero hindi naman po hanggang matuklap ang balat."

91. Don't feel lonely everytime you go to sleep and you're all alone. Isipin mo lang, may nakayakap sa 'yong batang puti ang mata, duguan ang bibig, kulubot ang mukha at nakatitig sa iyo. Sweet dreams!

92. Breakfast ka na! Anong gusto mo? Pizza pie? Pineapple pie? Apple pie? Banana pie? Buko pie? Cherry pie? Hay naku! Mag tina-pie ka na lang! Good morning!

93. The true meaning of Pasaload: P2.00 - napipilitan; P5.00 - ok lang; P10.00 loving; P15.00, caring na, loving pa! Saan ka kaya dito? Sige nga, Pasaload ka nga!

94. Kung isang oras na lang ang natitira sa buhay ko, at ikaw ang makakasama ko, saan mo ako dadalhin at ano ang gagawin mo para mapasaya mo ako sa isang oras na yun? Sagutin mo ha? Wait ko.

95. Never doubt someone's love for you. If you find some imperfections, let it be. If you survived the pain, the happiness is satisfying. Never find the perfect love, because love without pain is impossible.

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kakatuwa naman 66 - 80

66. It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever.

67. In love, very rarely do we win but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself.

68. There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we let go.

69. If you really love someone never let go, don't believe that letting go means that you love best, instead fight for your love, that's what true love is.

70. It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around. Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.

71. Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.

72. Aren't you glad that God's hotline doesn't have a recording that says "the number you dialed is temporarily unavailable, please try your call later."? You can call on Him anytime.

73. "Lord, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing, help me to remember that Your love is always greater than my disappointments and that Your plans for my life are always better than my dreams. Amen."

74. Relationships are like traffic signs, 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no U turn, no left turn. But the best so far is give way and keep right.

75. The finest part of a good person's life is the little unknown acts of kindness and love. We obtain happiness not because we do great things but because we do small things with great love.

76. Many believe that love is forever, that love never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing. We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled, but love is only a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hands, for we may never find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave. We should only embrace its warmth and glow while it lasts and freely open our arms when it's time to say goodbye.

77. Don't tie your heart to a person who has nothing to offer you. You may say you're in love, you might even say he/she is your soul mate. But is that enough to fill your need for love? Let go. It might hurt for a while, but when you get over it, you'll find it's for the better.

78. You deserve to be happy not in the arms of someone who keeps you waiting, but in the arms of someone who will take you now, love you forever, and leave you never, right?

79. Never regret the choices you make, just believe in yourself and have faith. Life isn't perfect, it's a blend of joy and sorrow, but whatever life leads you, it's because of a purpose.

80. Sooner, you'll no longer feel my presence, you'll never even miss my absence. I just hope that someday, when our roads meet again, you will still be the person I used to call friend.

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kakatuwa naman 56 - 65

56. Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because the most beautiful thing in the world is unseen.

57. We are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

58. There are things that we never want to let go, of people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life.

59. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives.

60. A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for him, it's when he ignores you and still you long for him. It's when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you.

61. If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.

62. The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall.

63. Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.

64. A true friend understands when you say, I forgot, waits forever when you say, just a minute, stays when you say leave me alone, opens the door even before you knock and says can I come in?

65. Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.

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kakatuwa naman 41 - 55

41. Believe in God’s constant love for you and hold on to the truth that the best years of your life are still ahead of you and not behind you. Good day!

42. God created nights for us to rest our weary minds. May calmness surround your sleep and may you have a peaceful rest to gear you up for tomorrow’s best. Good night!

43. Trials are like fire, it can destroy or strengthen you depending on your character and outlook in life. Remember, the fire that melts butter is the same fire that hardens steel.

44. Sunrise makes a morning beautiful but the word of God strengthens and makes our life more meaningful. Good morning!

45. Morning smile makes the day better. That’s the best thing we can do to make life happy. Good morning.

46. A beautiful world can only be seen thru the eyes of a happy heart. May your heart never get tired to see and enjoy the beauty that God is showing you.

47. Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. Good morning!

48. When problems seem unbearable and solutions are too elusive, never try to give up on life. Why? Oh come on! Hindi mo alam, grabe ang struggle ng sperm mareach lang ang egg para mabuhay ka noh?

49. You might find it easy to fall in love with someone, the hard thing is how to keep that someone forever. But that is the challenge of love, fighting, without knowing how to win!

50. People say that when you bite your tongue accidentally, someone you know misses you a lot. Hope you bit your tongue right now because I do miss you, yung tipong dumudugo na dahil sobrang miss kita!

51. We never know how this closeness has started. We will never know how it would end. But whatever happens, when our closeness is gone, I will never forget how you made me smile once in a while.

52. Friendship is impossible to keep within yourself, it will always extend as far as it can reach to touch your hearts. Exactly like the way you touched mine. Thank you so much.

53. You were someone I don’t know before, you were someone I don’t expect I will get along with. But it turned out you have given me one of the best friendship ever. Thank you!

54. The Lord does not want us to doubt, to fear or to grieve. He wants us to believe, to hope, to love and to see life the way He made it. A blessed day!

55. I had been believing that there is a paradise beyond the skies. But now I realized that heaven is just right here on earth, because what would an angel like you be doing here if heaven is somewhere else?

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kakatuwa naman 31 - 40

31. Every experience brings out something good. Good times could be good memories. Bad times could be good lessons. You never lose, you only gain from life. It is just a matter of perspective.

32. A brilliant mind is useless without a fighting heart because in life’s challenges, you make an impression with what you say but you make a name with what you do.

33. If you keep doing what you have always done, you will always get what you always got. So, when you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.

34. Always be happy, always wear a smile; not because life is full of reasons to smile, but because your smile itself is a reason for many others to smile.

35. Mornings are reminders that God loves us. We are not just given another day to enjoy but also given another chance to correct the wrongs of yesterday. Good morning.

36. Trials are not reason to give up, but a challenge to improve our lives. It is not an excuse to back-out, but an inspiration to move on and claim God’s promise.

37. Real friends never leave each other, never part. They just sometimes sit silently, deep within each others heart, saying, “I’m just here if you need me.”

38. The fate of love is that it is always too little or too much. Don’t live your life with someone you want to live with; live it with someone you can’t live without.

39. The loveliest day comes when you wake up one morning and discover the romantic truth that God still colors your world despite all the trials you encounter. Good morning!

40. “I trust you” is a better compliment than “I love you” because you may not always trust the one you love, but believe me, you can always love the person you trust for the rest of your life.

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kakatuwa naman 6 - 30

6. When an emotional injury takes place, the body begins a process as natural as the healing of a physical wound. Let the process happen. Trust that nature will do the healing. Know that the pain will pass and when it passes, you will be stronger, happier, more sensitive and aware.

7. Relationships are worth restoring. "Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody" Romans 12:18.

8. What makes coffee sweet? Sugar? Wrong. It is the stirring that you do after you add sugar. As in life, it is what you do with what you have that makes your life worth living.

9. Kadalasan, nakakatakot ang magmahal, dahil nakakatakot masaktan, mahirap umasa, nakakatakot ding mapaglaruan. Pero di ba, mas nakakatakot kapag nalaman mo na kapatid mo pala si mahal? at tatay mo si dagul?

10. Sabi ng hangin, mabait ka. Sabi ng dagat, matalino ka. Sabi ng ilog at bundok, cute ka. Tama nga talaga ako, sirang sira na talaga ang kalikasan.

11. Love is patient and kind. It is not conceited and selfish. Love never gives up and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Happy Valentines!

12. This message is strictly intended for cute people only.Since you accidentally received it, there must be a technical error for which I deeply apologize.

13. A prayer can go where I can't go. Thru prayer, I can be with whom I care without being there. I may not see you, but I'm sure you're ok! Coz that's what I prayed.

14. Isang gabi, umiiyak ako. Napatingin ako sa buwan. Sabi nya, "Don't cry, may magmamahal din sa 'yo." Sumagot ako, sabi ko, "Buwan, sana hindi ka nakikialam noh? Close ba tayo?"

15. Seek the highest wisdom not by arguments of words but by the perfection of your life, not by speech but by faith that comes from simplicity of heart. God bless.

16. Laughter is a great mental tonic. It can dispel anxiety, help manage stress, depression, fear and worry. But please, don't laugh alone. Coz there is no medicine for that! Good day!

17. Brain twister: It is exclusive for those who are wide readers. Please rearrange the letters to make it 1 word only. "CONE PLAY DICE" No reply, low IQ!

18. For every dream in our heart, GOd gives us inspiration. For every hope we seek, God gives us unexpected miracles. For every faith we believe, God blesses us more!

19. There is no oil without squeezing the olives, no wine without pressing the grapes, no fragrance without crushing the flower. So when things press you down, God is taking out the best in you. God bless.

20. Kapag nadapa ka, kapag nahulog ka, kapag natisod ka, kapag sumemplang ka, isa lang ang ibig sabihin nun. Patanga-tanga ka! Pero andito ako, sa likod mo, pinipigil ang tawa.

21. Every soul has a partner, yun yung tinatawag na soulmate. God given just for you.Do you want to know who he is? Sya yung taong pilit papasok sa buhay mo sa ayaw mo't sa gusto!

22. Life is a game. Sometimes,we miss and get hurt. But life doesn't end when our heartache begins. It only ends when we give up and stop believing. Seize the day!

23. Kumatok ang isang ahente sa bahay. Pagbukas ni misis ng pinto, agad pumasok ang ahente at ikinalat sa sahig ang ebak ng kabayo, Sabi ng ahente, "Ma'am, kapag di nalinis ng vacuum cleaner ko ang kalat, kakainin ko ang mga yan." Misis: "ay pu*ang ina ka! umpisahan mo na ang pagkain nyan at brownout kami ngayon!"

24. Good morning, Wishing you God's perfect touch today, and bless your heart with love and peace. Have a nice day! God loves you.

25. Let the silence of the night give you enough strength for tomorrow. Let the stars light up your face and let the love of God embrace you. Not just tonight but for the rest of your life. Good night!

26. Cute face catches the eyes, but good personality catches the heart. You are blessed because you have them both! Oh, huwag dibdibin! Sa akin ipinadala yan, pinabasa ko lang sa yo.

27. A new SMB commercial: "Pare how was your date? Did you guys have se*?""Almost pare, kaya lang SMB e!" "Anong SMB?" "Sh*t May Bay*g!"

28. In prosperity, God tests our gratitude; in poverty, our contentment; in darkness, our faith; at all times, our obedience! God bless!

29. As this day begins, I pray that God's power be your courage, His promises be your comfort and His presence be your light and your strength. Good morning!

30. A is 10 years old. B is 20 and C is 7 years younger than D. D graduated in 1996 at 21. Today is year 2006. A was born before B. O, wag ka nang mag-isip! Wala namang tanong. Nangungumusta lang. =)

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kakatuwa naman 1 - 5

1. Morato and Maceda were driving in LA when an American swerves along the car path. Morato: F*ck you a*shole! American: Suck my d*ck! Maceda: Ay tita! Nakikipag-areglo!

2. Pababayaan mo bang maging friends na lang ang turing mo sa kanya? Kahit na mahal mo sya? Huwag kang duwag! Itinulak mo pa sya sa iba, hindi mo alam, nasaktan sya. Bakit? Nasubsob kaya! Putok ang nguso. Magsorry ka!

3. Wishing you a seductive and horny morning, licked by love and penetrated with heavenly graces. May all your problems be ejaculated before the climax of the day. Have a sexy day!

4. Anak: Mommy, ano po yung sex? Ina: Ah, eh number yun, anak! Anak: Tama! Kasi sabi ni Daddy kay Ninong, "Sex tayo!" Tapos, sumagot si Ninong, "69 ba ulit pare?" Yuck!

5. Kapag iniwan ba kita, hahabulin mo ako? Sasayangin mo ba oras mo para sa akin? Malulungkot ka ba dahil iniwan kita? Sa tingin ko, hindi eh, kasi, noon, iniwan na kita, ang sabi ko, "Stay!" Sabi mo lang.. "Arf! arf!"

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